Spirits Are Lifted . . .

I was looking back over our last several posts and realized that I was sounding very negative. I have to admit I was feeling down and had hit this wall of not knowing how much more I was going to be able to handle. Craig has been so strong for me. He amazes me with his ability to stay so calm. I'm so thankful that he stayed last night. I think I would have been a mess to see Matthew vomiting blood. I went home at 11:30 p.m. and I called Craig at 5:15 a.m. to see how things were going. Needless to say, I was in the car racing to the hospital. He vomited at 2:30 a.m. so I'm not sure why I felt the need to come so quickly but I needed to be here. Craig had decided not to call me so I would get some rest (he thinks I haven't been eating or drinking enough) but when I got here he looked so drained. You could see the worry all over his face and that's when I lost it. Both of us cried wondering how much more can we see our little guy go through.

This evening, Matthew was resting comfortably so my parents stayed with him so we could go to dinner together and get away from the hospital. That really lifted our spirits. In our conversation, I told Craig that when I was driving today I was praying out loud that God would take care of Matthew and was questioning why he is going through this. The same song came on WCIC that helped me during his other surgeries and it's the ring tone on my phone. "Praise You In The Storm" by Casting Crowns. I ignored it because I wasn't in the mood to let go and let God take control. Talking to Craig reminded me of it and I told him that it was time for me to stop questioning and praise God in this storm. I know that God has answered so many of our prayers but I lost sight of it today. 

Here are some of the lyrics that touched Craig and I:

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

It's true. God is holding every one of those tears that Craig and I have shed the last few days and He has never left our side. Our hearts are torn but how can we not praise Him for what he's done. He has done so many miracles in our little guys life. Look at how he runs and plays with half of a heart! Matthew pulled through surgery with a strong heart and no complications. That was God! So we are remembering all that we have. We have walked out of this hospital many times with Matthew by our side and there are so many parents ho have to walk out without their child....their child never gets to go home.

Thanks for praying for us too. Your prayers helped us clear our vision tonight. We are still in this storm and we are going to do our best to to let God take control and praise him.

I will update in the morning with Matthew's progress. Thanks for listening!